The #We2 mission makes Talking Trees a two-prong approach to breaking the silence of adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. In addition to helping survivors find their voice and live in their truth, we are requesting bystanders to identify as listeners and take responsibility to create a safe space for survivors to be heard.

Every survivor needs listeners as they travel along the healing path. They need listeners to break their silence, help them process, and to provide a safe space to release some pain. There are approximately 60 million adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse in America. Most have grown into adulthood without anyone ever saying as much as I’m sorry that happened to you. Half of the adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse will never disclose the experience. Victimization is an isolating experience that deeply affects many adult survivors for the rest of their lives. Healing should not be isolating. The “We2 mission seeks to alleviate the isolation of adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse with these objectives:

1. Increase the percentage of survivors who live openly to heal.
2. Decrease the age survivors begin to address issues of childhood sexual abuse.
3. Support adult survivors who no longer have contact with their family.
4. Target information to help families and friends support adult survivors.
5. Create resources for survivors to help one another heal.

 

Living Openly Model of Support and Advocacy

In a survivor’s world, where most people request or support silence, the living openly model of Advocacy and Support (LOMAS) shows them their voice.

LOMAS is an advocacy approach that can be used to support survivors. It does not require professional or advanced degrees. All types of advocates can use the approach effectively.

In a survivor’s world, where most people request or support their silence, the living openly model shows them their voice.

The advocacy work may come in the form of a model, a mission, or a movement, depending on how it is used.

• Movement: The movement gives survivors permission to disrupt the status quo. Where pain has festered for decades, not causing others pain cannot be the goal for survivors. Letting go of secrets is a movement that demands listeners. Survivors’ voices must be heard. Hearing them in unison is more effective than hearing 40 million individuals.
• Mission: The mission involves creating safe space for survivors to build their voices. Professionals in the medical field require education and training to properly care for adult survivors. Family members need a better understanding as well. The mission asks society to participate in the healing of adult survivors.
• Model: The LOM draws most heavily on principles of social psychology and developmental psychology. The five components of the model represent a wholistic approach to supporting survivors. Anyone who claims to practice the model must engage survivors with all five components.

Healing

As survivors grow into living openly, they evolve from being a character stuck in a story to being the narrator. They engage in the process of dropping the secret of childhood sexual abuse. There is no specific task, no particular person to tell, and no specific amount to disclose. Survivors can begin the process of living openly anywhere on the healing journey.

Most survivors start by quietly exposing themselves. They don’t need words to disclose. Actions can speak louder than words while they build the narrative to speak their truth. Living openly looks different on everyone and even looks different on the same person as healing evolves. Thousands of survivors begin their journey with Talking Trees,

Removing isolation. Removing isolation starts with removing any selection process beyond. The point is to remove barriers to help-seeking. Groups should be open to whoever identifies with that group, and the group should be closely monitored.

Keep your topic narrow to manage the flow of followers and serve them well instead of qualifying people. The narrower your focus, the less research you have to bring to the platform and the more expert you can be.

Given the open access, the facilitator should be highly skilled in minimizing vulnerability. For example, the administrator should redirect them rather than scolding participants who overshare.  My experience in facilitating the survivor platform suggests more advantages than disadvantages to open access. Participants regulated themselves rather closely since they knew their comments were public. The focus remained in the present rather than oversharing about their abuse.

Even with a narrow topic, some followers will join because they are closely related to someone with the indicated experience. The platform should not be threatened or distracted by visitors. It should focus on providing helpful information to the target population. My personal response to comments from people who identified that they were not survivors was to hide their comments and preserve the space for survivors, even if the comments were positive. Stay committed to the task of supporting your intended population.

Capitalizing on resilience. The LOM is salutogenic. As an advocate, you build on your followers’ resilience, not focus on their victimization. There is not a presumption of trauma. When empowerment is the focus instead of trauma, followers can participate from a place of strength instead of weakness. They can sit back and build trust before stepping into vulnerability.

The goal is not to offer therapeutic advice or fix followers. Your support shows them the best of who they are and who they can become based on what you know about their experience, as informed by research and scholarship.

Building a platform based on resilience will attract people who see themselves as thriving and people who live with a victim mentality. This spectrum of followers will grow our platform faster than catering to one end of the spectrum. Followers who are thriving will help you by encouraging others. That’s how you turn a platform into a community.

Identity support. LOM seeks to strengthen the collective identity while supporting disclosure through exposure. Not everyone is ready to disclose their trauma, diagnosis, or circumstance. Men who experience violence in their relationships may be hesitant to identify a survivor of domestic violence. People diagnosed with schizophrenia may not comfortably identify with the condition. A woman who has had multiple miscarriages may not know how to name her pain. The LOM open access supports followers without them disclosing their experiences.

As healthy narratives are developed around their issue, shame and isolation are released passively. Seeing others share their experience of resilience is valuable for people who struggle with the invisible identity. Presence in an open group means that followers have made an investment in the help-seeking process that they may never have made otherwise.

When group members who interact receive positive feedback and support, followers lurking in the background could determine a sense of safety. Ultimately, they will grow into a positive narrative around the identity. Developing a healthy narrative around their issue opens the door to professional help-seeking.

Inclusive advocacy. LOM facilitators are responsible for being culturally inclusive, sensitive, and versed in social justice. As followers increase their resilience, the world should become a better place. While no follower is required to be an advocate, they should be challenged to make a difference in the lives of many, not just better their own lives.

The relationship between social vulnerability and emotional distress also draws attention to intersectionality. Emotional distress is higher among people with disabilities, poverty communities, women, and socially oppressed groups. All of these identities are considered relevant to the experience of wellness in the LOM. Outreach on the platform should reflect an awareness of intersectionality and cultural sensitivity. This approach prevents hurt people from becoming bitter and victimizing others.

Improving navigation. LOM seeks to improve followers’ navigation of the healing journey by disseminating relevant scholarship and research information. They keep the focus on providing information rather than giving advice. Followers may ask specific questions about their circumstances. Your expertise should empower followers to make good decisions but avoid being responsible for forcing them to make the right decisions.

The platform should use a wholistic approach to support the six elements of trauma-informed delivery standards of helping identified by Bein (2011): safety, trust, choice, collaboration, empowerment, and cultural relevance.

The value of a collective identity does not negate individual needs. Facilitators yield to followers to choose how to live their lives. Emphasize that healing is a journey, not a task, and model for them how to manage the healing journey.