Writing and Healing

Some survivors use writing on their own as a cathartic practice. However, not all writing has the same benefit. Some survivors identify the writing process as “telling their story”, modeled after AA recovery from addiction. The story has a beginning, middle, and end with a focus on details of the person’s behavior. “I” statements are important and encouraged in order for the person to take responsibility for their actions. This is contrary to what researchers identify as helpful for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Survivors who frequently write “I” statements and use words like “should” and “could”, which distances them from reality, experience far fewer therapeutic benefits.

Therapeutic writing focuses on how the past influences the present rather than writing about the details of the past. Writing about the details of the past increases the use of “I” sentences and keep survivors more distant from the present. You might imagine that if a survivor writes out the details of the abuse from beginning to end and hold that close to their heart as “their story” then their past is always speaking for them. A survivor may feel a sense of relief early on by simply finding acceptance. However, once they have shared their “story” and have absorbed the acceptance from their listeners there is no direction for them to take and depression is likely to return.

Writing for therapy requires the survivor to make connections within, so, self-exploration is required. A therapist is sometimes necessary because self-exploration is an interpersonal skill that many survivors lack early in the healing process. It requires a person to ignore what is happening in front of them and feel what is happening within them. For example, I could write “the feeling of abandonment is triggered when my friends go out without telling me.” I can focus on that feeling of abandonment in my writing by looking at my present relationships and how I deal with that feeling. I already know that the feeling comes from my past. So, I do not have to keep going back to write about the past. Instead, I focus on the present, where I am with the feeling now. Otherwise, I could write about the detail of abuse for ten years and never mention fear of abandonment if I do not look within.

Therapeutic writing is not necessarily the same as speaking to live openly. The details that you offer should depend on the context of the disclosure. Disclosing the detail about the abuse may take place all at once to one or more people, or it may occur gradually to people you meet along the healing path. There is no template for disclosure. But, if you practice telling a rehearsed story, you lose the opportunity of using authenticity to engage people.

Nevertheless, always remember and never forget that the healing path is individual. It works by trial and error and by trusting the process. Still, Talking Trees, Inc. will continue to share how research informs the practice of healing for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.